I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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