All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
