Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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