i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
