...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Randomize
