we're chasing vodka with high fives
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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