They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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