i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
