if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
