i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
