There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
