Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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