Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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