once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
