I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Randomize
