So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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