Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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