i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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