It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
