Cold hands, warm shart.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The uberlube is also flammable
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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