yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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