no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize