Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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