if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
