whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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