well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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