Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
