he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Randomize
