Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
