So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Hippo gnu deer
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
