Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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