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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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