Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
