Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
