I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
