How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
