the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
His nipple licking is glorious
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