He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my shit smells like andre
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
