I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
