It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
