She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
