Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
