i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
