So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
