No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
