beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize