we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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