Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
