My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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