So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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