I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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