Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
