I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
