I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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