went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
