sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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