so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
