woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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