The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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