Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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